thread: 2005-03-15 : Cross-gender Play
On 2005-03-15, xenopulse wrote:
I think what Matt is talking about is the fact that in U.S. mainstream culture, women are allowed and expected to be complex, i.e., to have and show emotions but also be able to be strong and intelligent and everything. Men are expected to not show feelings and be anything but feminine. I just recently talked to Lisa about this—she was reading in a pedagogic book written by a teacher that when they ask little kids in class about what men do and don't do, pretty much everything that lands outside the "do" circle is associated with femininity or homosexuality. That's why (sadly) boys these days use "That's gay" as a derogative comment; notice that girls don't usually use that expression. We're trying really hard to get our boys off those kinds of habits.
So, overall, if you play a complex emotional male character, you are playing more against gender norms.
For me, the contrast is not that stark, because I am German, and our culture (especially post-1968) is a little different. I occasionally flirt with men and cried at the end of Madame Butterfly, and that's all acceptable where I'm from (though people often use alcohol to justify such behavior). But there's still a limit to these expectations; I could not run around town holding hands with another man the way women could. Well, not without falling outside the general gender norms and automatically being considered something I am not.
- Christian
