thread: 2005-08-09 : The New Open House 2: Religion
On 2005-08-12, Drew / rrr wrote:
Essentially I'm pretty much atheist, but I have always felt a kind of affinity for Buddhism / Daoism since I was a kid. I was however brought up with a fairly open viewpoint on most religious stances. There have been two powerful turning points which have helped bring me to this "Atheist with Daoist leanings" position.
Turning point 1: I was about 11, we were on holiday, and I met a Buddhist monk. I was intrigued initially by his robes and weird food... he only ate vegetables..! How wacky! But why? He basically told me a little about Buddhist beliefs and their reverance for life. I was sufficiently impressed by this that I decided to be like that. I became quite interested in Buddhism and read many things about it. I never really would have called myself a Buddhist, but at that point I decided that actually I felt a strong respect for many Buddhist beliefs that I didn't really have for other religions. Basically I decided if it was good enough for Buddha, then it was good enough for me, and I started to attempt to live a more buddhist life. I became a vegetarian and decided not to drink or take mind altering drugs, and have stuck to this for the past 18 years.
As a teenager I kept this interest in Buddhism, and it expanded into a fascination with the Dao De Ching of Lao Tzu. Still this book is something which I regard as a very profound exploration of human existance and the nature of life.
Up until my mid twenties I kind of felt like there was some kind of "god" or higher power. I felt that most religions were probably all reflections of this "higher truth" in some sense. I felt that the harm caused by religion is what happens when human stupidity or greed or malice gets hold of these noble ideas. I was quite naive and idealistic as a youth.
Anyway, Turning Point 2: I became obsessed with the novels of Dostoevsky. Reading in quick succession "Brothers Karamazov" "The Idiot" and "Crime and Punishment" shook my world view to the core. I became very depressed. I started to question everything I previously believed. After about 2 years or so I came out the other side an atheist. Funny, Dostoevsky was christian to the core, but he made me an atheist. Not because of what he might have believed, but because the sheer power and insight of the psychology of his novels shook the very foundations of my beliefs.
Now I kind of don't believe in any "higher power" any "ultimate truth", but that's not to say I don't believe there is good and evil or that I don't recognise the spiritual aspects of life and what they can give to us. I do, I just think that good and evil are moral concepts which are independent of some deity. If life didn't exist would good and evil? Not in any real sense. We create our morality, but that doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile. Yes there is good and evil. Personally I choose good. I choose reverance for life, respect for others. Not because some god tells me so, but because I feel it to be the correct path. I still think the ideals of Buddhism and some of the ideals of Christianity are worthwhile, but I do believe that the idea of a father god we should all worship is quite a destructive one.
