thread: 2005-11-22 : A Seriously Social Issue
On 2005-11-24, Brand Robins wrote:
Okay, since people found my first post mature and shit, I now am going to say some stuff that may make me less popular. There are some statements that have been made in this thread that I do not agree with, and find the statements themselves to be almost as problematic as the issues of getting groups to play the games we want.
Let me start by saying: no gaming is better than bad gaming. If you would have more fun watching a movie or picking your belly button lint than playing in the game you are playing in, you should quit. I have ranted about this before, and so everyone should be really damn clear about where I am on that point and not try to strawman me with it later.
Right? Okay.
There is a big difference between "no gaming is better than bad gaming" and "if I wasn't playing this game I would be playing a game that was more fun." The first is almost universally true. The second is not.
The second can be true: if you have a group of kick ass players ready to throw down with a kick ass game. If you are slogging out to your hated FATAL game every weekend and know that there is a group made up of Vincent, Mo, Josh, Joshua, and Ron just ready to hook you up with awesome HOT NAR ACTION, then sure—its true that playing the game that you are playing is getting in the way. However, most of the time this is not the case.
It can also be true that if you could just convert your group to Nar play, or Dogs play, or Forge theory, or whatever that your game could be better. However, some of the time this is not the case. I've seen groups try it and fail more than once. I've seen people hot on the Nar trail hit a group of Simmers and sell them on a Nar one-shot and then go reeling back in shock when the group doesn't like it. (Or even when they don't like it themselves.)
Very often what is actually going on in these times is the old saw that everyone whose ever dated can tell you all about: mistaking the ideal of what you could be missing for what you actually are missing. "If only I wasn't dating nice little Clarice Marell" one might think "I could be boning Viggo Mortensen or Monica Bellucci." But guys, and gals, lets face it ??? if we weren't with the nice girl next door we wouldn't be hooking up with Halle Berry or Usher. We'd be alone in a room watching porn. Now, some of us may have had relationships in which being alone watching porn was preferable. But I've seen more where it wasn't ??? and yet the people involved would tell me how they wanted to bail cause there was something hotter around the corner.
Is there really a game so much better out there? Have you played Dogs and found that it does everything you imagine it will? Or is it that in wanting to escape from unsatisfying play its easier to imagine the hot Nar action that you've never had but that you dream about being so good?
Or, to take it down a notch, is it really that you're refusing to play in games that aren't good enough, or is it that you're saving yourself for a perfect game that will never come? I know a lot of people that tell me about how much they love game, and game deliberately, who never seem to actually get out there and play. For them the ideal of the perfect game has become another shield to hide behind in order to keep themselves apart from the divisions and imprecision, annoyances and foibles of gaming and life.
I know this is odd. We live in a hobby in which we have historically been told to eat shit and say we like it. We both are ourselves and are surrounded by people who have been trained to accept far too little out of their games. It is important that we learn to undo this damage and things like gaming deliberately and Stealth Gaming have been important, huge steps in doing so.
At the same time, however, it is important that we not go too far the other way. That way too lies madness. In all the people talking about the cool Nar games that they want to play, if only, if only, if only I see the exact same reflection as the people in the 80s I used to talk about RPGs with talking about the cool D&D games they would play if only, if only, if only.
We do not get better at gaming by avoiding gaming, just as we do not get better at life by avoiding it. Guys like Vincent and Ron have shown us that there can be good play and constant play at the same time, and held up a bar that says "if it doesn't go this high, you shouldn't allow it to ride." This a good thing. However, the bar is here, at chest level ??? not there up in the clouds. Real, tangible, achievable goals are the way you get to where you want to be. Cause you won't get it, wishing and a prayin', hopin' and a dreamin'.
This makes WMW go "Exactly. You have to date."
When I got fed up, I started playing. Lots of things. Even things I didn't think I'd like. The important thing was to break the pattern of playing the bad games. The good games are coming, slowly.
This makes Chris go "All dated out"
Pretty much my whole last year has been playing lots of games, with lots of people. I'm tuckered out. But I have a good idea of where my bar stands and what kinds of rides I want to get in line for.
This makes BR go "Well, Chris, at least you know."
And knowing is half the battle. Go Joe!
