thread: 2006-01-11 : Two kinds of me
On 2006-01-11, Lisa Padol wrote:
What do I get out of reading this blog? What an interesting question.
Bearing in mind that I had not realized that this was primarily intended as a game designer's blog for other game designers...
—I get updates on Vincent's life, including baby pics. This 'blog is how I knew the baby had been born. Otherwise, it would have been anyone's guess when I'd found out.
—I learn about other 'blogs. I would never have found out about Fair Play if I didn't read anyway. Now, it may be that I'm not the intended audience for Fair Play, which I'd be cool with, but danged if I know whether I am or not.
—I get questions that seem addressed to gamers, rather than designers, such as the question about what gaming groups like mine (barely look at character sheets, rarely roll dice or use other mechanics) might get out of new games, with a game designer bias (i.e., "How can I convince you to actually play the game I wrote as I wrote it?")
—I get questions and ideas that spawn thoughts, whether they are addressed to me or to other people. Some of these come from Vincent's posts, others from the commentary. These stretch the mind, and sometimes illuminate gaming issues I'm in the midst of. Fr'ex, in the Letter Game we're playing now, one of the players sent an OOC post explaining that she was going to handle an IC issue she raised, leading me to wonder how to handle that IC, and it was easier to phrase the question and discuss the issues coherently because of my reading here and Josh's work on Rasa.
—I get annoyed, angry, confused, frustrated, enlightened, delighted, elated, and a bunch of other emotions.
—Sometimes, I start or consider starting a post, but kill it before posting, since it strikes me as pissing, rather than contributing.
—Often, if the discussion goes on long enough and I follow it ('cuz, y'know, day job and all), I find it takes me somewhere. This place may be as obvious as realizing that yes, I am playing a game, the Letter Game, whose very point is that other people can Make Stuff Up about "my" character.
—Currently, it may net me a new game designer and a new rpg, as I'm the one who pointed Josh at this thread, and he's decided to create a 'blog and the thought experiment Rasa.
But, ultimately, I am a player, not a designer. Saying that any kind of tinkering is design is not untrue, but is a bit disingenuous. Jane Gamer deciding to tweak some tiny piece of d20 is doing game design, sure, but that doesn't mean she's Vincent's intended audience. Or, if it does, then what the heck am I to make of "If you're not an RPG designer and you're reading my theory stuff, you're doing it at your own risk"? Doing Vincent the courtesy of assuming that he means what he types, I have to assume that there is a divide between players and designers, and I am on the player side of the divide.
I do understand the idea that not all conversations are for all people. But, it's not always clear to me what the rules are. This has often been true for me at the Forge, and I think no one could accuse Ron of being shy of saying exactly what he means. (I tend to deal with this by focusing on Actual Play, where I'm mostly clear on what the rules of discourse are.)
—Lisa
This makes MB go "You are us"
at Fair Play.:) Our audience is everyone here, I guess, but also and more particularly, women gamers and gamers interested in why women game. I think.
This makes WMW go "Cool, Meg"
I find FP neat because it's helping me understand why I always liked playing with women better. There really do seem to be differences.
This makes JK go "well..."
except for the part where Lisa gets annoyed when people generalize about gamers on gender grounds. :)
This makes LP go "Oy. Gender."
On the one hand, I am sick, sick, sick of hearing "Women are X; men are Y." By most duologies like that, I am a man. (Josh, I'm not, am I?) OTOH, when Avram asked me whether it wasn't time to retire the hoary "Women in Gaming" panel at Arisia (a couple years back), I said something like, "When I stop hearing about how a male GM decided it'd be really cool to have his NPC rape the female players' female PCs, maybe then." Our gaming group is, I understand, not typical, but one does get tired of hearing how women and men are when such does not match one's experience.
