thread: 2005-05-16 : Violence
On 2005-05-17, Ninja Hunter J wrote:
(In the interest of disclosure, I am Vincent's covering fire and coveree, and occasionally accidental targeter and targetee.)
The following is not a unique observation: those who do best on the paintball field don't bother bragging. They help other people out, maybe give some advice on stuff they've figured out if it comes up in conversation. Those who brag the most haven't proven themselves, and thereby brag to make up the difference. There was a kid - probably 14 years old - out playing with us last week who was calm, congratulatory, lent paint, and was instrumental in his team, whether winning or losing. He didn't brag, he just played as well as he could, had fun, and shot straight. Being a little guy really helps in paintball, but not to the degree that he was good. There were a bunch of other people like him, mostly in their late teens up through, oh, late 30s: they played hard and fair.
The remainder of the stuff that went on was bullshit. The guys in the army stuff tended to get tagged out early (sometimes before me!), and 90% of the talk off the field was about how much the markers would win the game. When teams were divided up, the younger kids would count what and what kind of marker was on each team, mostly claiming that the more of their own brand was on their team, the better the team would fare: identity politics among kids is pretty plain to see.
Most symbolically relevant were the long barrels. Anyone who's played a lot of paintball, and anyone who's an engineer of paintball stuff, will tell you that a barrel longer than 8" isn't more accurate. But the boys liked their loooong barrels, and that comes down to the power thing, mentioned above. It's like ornate plumage: it shows how badass you would be if anyone would dare challenge you. Incidentally, the kid I mentioned in the first paragraph thought Vincent's 4" barrel was awesome.
There were a lot of girls out that day, for a paintball field. Vincent and I were totally pwn3d by two of them (not by any dumb luck, neither), and they were proud of themselves, but not bragging. Others were most concerned with getting out and playing, or getting their markers working right, or what-have-you. No bragging. There was a father berating his son for bad tactics, and V and I backed out of that conversation as quickly as possible.
We've talked a fair bit about when V's kids could play, and I think we both agree that it would have to be when they're able to confront things that they're afraid of, and to distinguish violence from competition. Whether or not that's right, it's the concern and dynamic dealing with the challenge that makes it good parenting, and thereby makes good boys.
