anyway.

thread: 2006-04-08 : That certain zing

On 2006-04-12, Carrie wrote:

I think there's a lot of missed opportunities because people want a really wide variety of things out of one another when they pursue each other socially (some want sex, some want relationships, some want both, some want to 'be bad' some want to 'be good', some want to be rejected, some want to feel accepted.... I could go on forever). It's really hard to figure out who wants what out of who, because as far as I can tell no social agendas of any kind are ever explicitly stated between humans and some (many?) of us don't even realize what we're pursuing!

This isn't just about sex, this is about all the monkey-things we do, and some things that are perhaps unique to humans. Guys reacting to having women present is probably multifold, not just about sex. Though I'm not a man and couldn't say for sure. But there can be lots of things happening that relate to playing games with people across lines of attraction. For example, there can be rallying for position (like trying to impress), which might not even really be about the woman, but about your relationship to the other men at the table. Or about the rush of going out on a limb with people you're attracted to (but not specifically about the attraction itself; more about exposing your emotional self to them).