thread: 2007-01-10 : Some questions about worship
On 2007-01-11, Brand Robins wrote:
Worth noting, on our beloved etymology front, that fear (as a noun) comes to us from the Old English word that also meant "sudden calamity or misfortune." Also, some of the middle English variants of the word put much more emphasis upon "ground for alarm" or "formidable and worthy of solicitude" than the current definitions normally do.
So, do we fear hurricanes? Well, by the current sense of the word, maybe not. But do we, when we approach hurricane season and live on the coast, have a sense that their could be something formidable coming, or have reason to suspect that the thing coming could cause sudden calamity?
To move that to fearing God... I could be alone here, but I often feel anxiety about the future, about my ability to deal with the sum total of the world and everything I must face, and often have to acknowledge that there are things out there that can crush me without noticing I passed under their foot. If God is the biggest thing in the universe, the force (intelligent or not) who can save or damn me, the one that knows my future and plans(?) for my success or failure... well, then doesn't it make sense that some of my generalized anxieties, my sense of the universe's formidable nature, my understanding that sudden calamities can befall me at God's will (or just his allowance), that some of that would attach itself to God?
And at that point don't I fear God? Just a little maybe? And might that not be justified when I, a fallible and sinning being, look into the blank face of eternity and perfection? Maybe I'm more afraid of my own faults than his majesty, but the emotions become reflexive, and one can lead invisibly to the other. Describing them poetically, I may well use the term "God fearing."
Not to mention the other aspect of religion that rests importantly with me—religion as challenge, not as comfort. When I think of God as the one who protects me, who is my staff and my shepherd, then fear is the last emotion that comes to mind. But when I think of God being the one that will test me to my utmost, who will wring every drop of effort from my soul to prove me, who will call me to leave everything comfortable for a higher, harder, and more dangerous calling... then fear sets in again.
But perhaps that's only because my conception of God has more than a little Kali/Shiva in it.
