anyway.

(A technical note: that thread's ooooooold. Please don't post to it, comments or marginalia. Thanks!)

Our hearts answer.

Yeah.

I wonder if that explains why some people (raises hand sheepishly) can keep coming back to a dysfunctional group with unfun play, over and over again, each time hoping it'll be better than last week?

Shit, whaddoimean, "I wonder"? I KNOW it does.

^what he said.

We want meaningful experience, and we want connection, sexual and otherwise. There are a lot more dysfunctional things than crappy gaming that we endure in hopes of getting these things.

From AG's marginalia:
"The primary meaning [of 'sensual']has to do with gratification of the senses and indulgence of appetites, but sexuality is a common secondary meaning."

Which is why we need to be clear in our language. Same as using 'sex' and 'gender' correctly.

Meg, I bristle a bit at the claim that the sociological definitions of sex and gender are the only "correct" ones. They're certainly useful in some contexts, but an ordinary person is well within his or her rights to use the words as synonyms in ordinary conversation. Better to say "Here's a distinction drawn by people who think about these topics a lot" then to say "No, you're using it wrong".

Holy crap, I'm just grammarian boy these days. Tedious Pedantry, 3d8.

Hey, Vincent: You play with your penis, you play with your heart—one more body part and you can replace the stats in AG&G.

Avram, I'll do the moderating here, please.

Word, Vincent.

I know that there's a bajillion multipliers, but particularly germaine to sexuality, and sensuality in roleplaying, I'd add in: emotional compatability, emotional attraction, emotional opportunity.

Our hearts answer.

Are you folks sure it's your hearts?

Yeah, you know, here's the thing: I've often heard it said that men don't need emotional connection from sex the way women do. Now, I don't know what women need any more than any other dude, but I've sure always enjoyed emotionally connected sex. Everything else was TEH LAEM.

So, yeah: I like fucking people I like. That's my heart.

Isn't dancing sensual?  Can't we dance with a group or with a friend or with a friend's wife or with our mom or with our dad?

Let's look at RPGing as dancing with our imaginations.

How can that not be sensual?

That is all.

Did you ever read a book called "Finite and Infinite Games"? The essential point is we can either play by the rules (Finite games) or play with the rules (Infinite games).  The author also talks about finite or inifite sexuality; one can either be sexually engaged in order to have a partner and get the status of having that partner—or—one can be sexually engaged in order to grow.  Every touch becomes a chance to become a different, greater person.

With RPGs, we can either play in order to have a great character of X level with a boatload of magic items, or we can play in order to change ourselves.  Every challenge in the game becomes a chance to grow.

==Ed

Yeah! I read that book! It's deeply applicable. I should reread it, though; I read it 10 or 15 years ago.